Ask Bambi : Column 2

Question : Miss Bambi, I have a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. We have discussed marriage before and the topic of prenups was brought up. He feels that it is better for us to sign a prenutial agreement and that it is 'no big deal' since prenups are now a common 'security' blanket for couples. I am a little confused right now. Could you offer your opinion?

- Miss Undecided, 26yrs old

Miss Bambi replies: Dear Miss Undecided, your feelings on this matter are not unfounded. It is true that prenuptial agreements between couples have become a common occurence, however, I believe that one should live by a higher standard and aim to be part of the uncommon community. Here are some thoughts couples should consider before they take the path of marriage.

1. Do you believe in your partner's character?
2. Does your partner percieve marriage to be a contract or a covenant?
3. How deep is your trust for each other?
4. If either of you is thinking of a 'Plan B' before marriage, what does it say about this relationship?
5. When the going gets tough, do the tough get going or do YOU get going?

Have an honest talk about these questions. If these questions have cast doubts on your relationship, that just means one of two things:

1. Both of you need more time to build on this relationship.
2. You are in an unsuitable relationship because of mismatched value syatems (beliefs).