Battle Organica

~ My First Taste of an Organic Apple ~

Tonight, I chomped on my first organic apple, my first organic anything really and it was so sweet, so flavorsome. Well you say that an apple is an apple right? Wrong! I was a bit skeptical - horrified really - when I heard that my mom spent S$0.50 for an apple, that's almost twice the amount she usually pays for a non-organic one, but I was really impressed by it's sweetness and flavor. I know it is a weird thing to say but this apple actually tastes like an apple. Most of the China apples that my mom buys have all the form of an apple - the shape, looks and crunch - but the flavor is totally out, it is like biting on a crunchy juicy fruit without any flavor.
-------
But I will not be jumping whole-heartedly onto the organic bandwagon anytime soon, after all, organic products are so bloody expensive. It really baffles me sometimes. Everything that I have purchased, that contains less sugar, less caffeine, less fat, less whatever cost more than the regular stuff. Example, cheese with LESS FAT cost more than regular cheese, DECAFFEINATED coffee cost more than regular coffee, soya milk with NO SUGAR cost more than those with sugar. What gives man? Aren't we - the non-fat, no sugar, decaf consumer - saving you money by buying these kind of products? I also know it takes additional processes to produce these low fat sugarless products but passing down these additional costs to the consumer is only justified if these products are bought by a very small select group of individuals, but as far as I know, with all the 'Eat Healthy' campaigns going on, there are more than just a handful going for these healthier choices. So again, what gives man?
-------
So like I've reiterated, it cost too much to go organic, so for now, us peasants must endure tasteless, poison coated apples. This is such a sad thought. The "MAN" is screwing the little guy once again. We might just need a 2nd woodstock to stick it to the "MAN" once again, show him who's boss. Hippie fever.... Yeah Baby, Groovy!

Miss Big Boobs 2007

I am in the mood to be mean speak my mind in this post. I used to be very very interested in the Miss Universe Pageant when I was a teenager, no prizes for guessing why. (Clue: Swimsuit segment = buckets of drool) I was a little naive then, thinking that Miss Universe was a gathering of the world's most beautiful women, and I do not mean figuratively speaking. I thought that each nation had some sort of committee that was in charge of screening their entire female population of a certain age group, let their citizens decide who the most beautiful one was and the chosen one would compete in the Miss Universe pageant to decide once and for all - for that year anyway - which country 'breeds' the most beautiful woman. Seriously, that's what I thought.
-------
When I was a little older or at least more aware that women were everywhere, more specifically, there were heaps of beautiful women out there without a sash or crown on her head, the appeal of beauty contests diminished to an afterthought. I would not bother watching it, I mean why should I when there were a host of other mediums or opportunities to view off-screen goddesses.
-------
Anyway, I'm going on an on about this because the Miss Singapore Universe is in season. In all honesty, seriously ask any Singaporean, ANY Singaporean and they will tell you that we have no chance in hell of getting the crown. I believe that the contestants know that fact at the back of their minds as well. So their achievement - if any - is just to get their 15 minutes of fame on local TV, afterwhich they'll just blend in with the stage props of the Miss Universe Pageant.
-------
Why bother wasting all this time and resources? Just look at all the local applicants, scan through with a predetermined criteria, and send the successful applicant off to the competition.

What criteria must they possess?

1. At least a university degree so she won't give a 'duh' or 'world peace' for an answer when questions are presented before her. But the Singapore committee can relax a bit on this rule seeing as how she would probably not even make it to that round of questioning.
   
2. They must have a certain height - 1.8 meters and above - or the final judges won't even be able to see her if she is positioned behind Miss Venezuela.
   
3. Her breasts must be big. (All you feminist out there can just suck it alright, you all know that this is an unwritten rule, look at all the winners, wait nevermind that, look at all the contestants and tell me who doesn't possess a big rack? Enough said.)
4. It is best for her to be as young as the competition permits. Miss Universe has rules that state that all contestants must be at least 18 years old.
   

-------

So Miss Singapore Universe's formula for not embarrassing the nation?
Degree + Height + Big Breasts + Youth = No Chance of winning the Miss Universe Crown

Lest I Forget #5 - Cross-Dressing... kinky

I remembered once, when I was in primary school,I was about nine or ten then, I cross-dressed Unintentionally. It was the middle of the day, I was fooling around with my friends when I realized that the buttons on their shirts were on the wrong side. I brushed it off thinking that it didn't matter, that they're just buttons, no biggy. Boy was I wrong. I started to get that sinking feeling when I noticed that all the buttons on the blouses that the girls were wearing were on the same side as mine. I checked all the female students that sat around me and my suspicions were confirmed. I was utterly embarrassed. For the rest of the day, I remained very quiet, clutching my bag on my chest, eyes fixated on the classroom clock, waiting for school to end. I was so glad that nobody noticed. If anyone had vocalized my faux pas, I would never live it down and my classmates would make sure that I would be constantly reminded of my mistake. Kids are as cruel then as they are now. Do not let their age nor their angelic faces fool you.
-------
It was a very very long day. When I got back, I threw the shirt away, straight in the bin. Never again will I make the same mistake, I told myself.... never again.

3 Pictures that Spoke 193 Words

I have finally bought all 11 Simpsons figurines. They were sold with Burger King's kids meal way back in the year 2000, so in a sense they are to me, 7 year old antiques. There are 21 in all but I only managed to obtain 11. Aw well. I got 1 figurine per week as a reward for faithfully going to the gym (yes, getting good heath is hardly a motivating factor). They sit proudly on my bookshelf. Cost? Let's just say I paid a pretty penny.

I was drinking a can of Diet Coke and noticed their claim. ZERO CALORIES. I have my doubts. If it were true then it would be like drinking refreshing fizzy water. There is an asterisk (*) after the claim so there might be some invisible small print that states that in effect, the drink might contain 0.5 calories, so idiots that drink Diet Coke and eventually got fat will not be able to hit the company with a class action lawsuit.

I'm happy to report, on this Good Friday, this cat is taking it easy. He will be the envy of many.
( This picture is for you Bambi )

Breakthrough in my Clan

Today marks a significant day. It is the first day in 27 years that my family is living without the aid of a domestic help - a.k.a. A Maid. We just decided that we no longer need to hire one. That's fine by me. However, I believe that only a small fraction of Singaporeans share my sentiments.
-------
In the beginning, the idea of the domestic help was sort of a luxury indulgence for those with a little more dough in their snake skin wallet. However, as the country prospered, that same idea became a norm, a common practice for the common man - a common citizen of this nation. We get better educated, get better paying jobs and ultimately decide that getting domestic help to take care of our household needs is ... shall we say... a natural thought progression.
-------
All is fine for a while, UNTIL, this becomes a symbiotic relationship. Imagine, how sad would it be if us Singaporeans could not do without the aid of maids. After all, they are in effect our cooks, washers, butlers, gardeners, toilet cleaners, dog walkers, baby sitters and nursing aids rolled into one. In other first world countries like that of Australia or the United States, I believe that the hiring of domestic help is limited to those who live in the lap of luxury or those who live in huge estates. It would be because of this very reason (the size of their property or bank account) that they want to hire help (even then, those hired help come with specific responsibilities). Even the average American middle income household with, say, 4 kids would think twice, three times even, before the hiring begins. The same cannot be said of the average Singaporean (household).
-------
Imagine, more than 85% of us live in cramped up living spaces but still have no qualms with having another person living in that same cramped space. This inevitably creates social problems. There have been no shortage of stories featured in the local newspapers about maids killing or being killed, abusing or being abused, jumping off buildings, accidents, more accidents and even more tragic accidents. (No kidding, for a period of time, maids are falling off window ledges so often, the public, YES the public got to be educated about enforcing safety in the maid's workspace. Weird huh?)
-------
Blame it on the close proximity. Blame it on all our high stress high powered jobs. But the problems that come with hiring maids is all self-inflicted. Who is to blame? Well it is anyone's intelligent guess. Sometimes I think about it and it just does not make any sense to me to hire a maid. Think privacy. Think stranger washing your delicates and your unmentionables. Think having to share your close quarters with another person, thus making your quarters even closer. It's just not worth it.
-------
So today is significant. We as a family have decided to break this bondage, this cancerous reliance on an idea - The idea that having a maid is a dire Need not a necessary Want. We know that it'll work out, we just need a system. We just have to be a little less lazy.

It Happened Twice

Me.
Waiting in Line.
Suddenly,
this girl just grabbed my hand.
I was a little startled, a little happy, for a short while.
but,
She just would not let go!
THEN...
A person of Stout Statue came
and tried to pry her away from me.
I did not defend her,
nor did I attempt to reason with the Stout Male Figure
I looked at her innocent face,
tears flowing freely as she was pulled away.
A
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a

... Some kid mistook me for her dad again.
A
a
a
a
a

Sigh... if only she was at least 20 years older, I might even consider putting up a fight.

Once Broken Consider Yourself Screwed

The above picture was taken because I wanted to look into the implications of this common sign "Once Broken Considered Sold". A friend of mine once said that it was in fact illegal for shops to have these signs, she said that if this issue was brought before court, the judge would just throw it out (in Singapore courts anyway) - like frivolous McDonald's lawsuits, and on top of that, the police could not even arrest you. Why? Because you can/will only be held accountable if they can prove you had harmful intent or malice. So if whatever you did was an accident and there was no malice involved ( I say there was no malice, well, of course if there was a naughty intent, the shopkeeper could not prove a didily-squat, unless you're an idiot and confess everything) then you are free to just walk out the store without paying for anything. She made a rather good argument, but she was not a lawyer and could very well be yanking my chain, so I decided it was not in my best interest to test her theory out. Therefore, I made special effort not to break anything.
-------
So anyway before I began to investigate on that common sign, I took a closer look at the picture. Do you see anything wrong with it? Let me tell you, if SOFT PLUSH TOYS could be broken, the store will have a lot more to worry about *cough*lawsuits*cough* than customers breaking their products. Can anybody spell the words C-H-O-K-I-N-G B-A-B-Y? I know I can.