Miss Big Boobs 2007

I am in the mood to be mean speak my mind in this post. I used to be very very interested in the Miss Universe Pageant when I was a teenager, no prizes for guessing why. (Clue: Swimsuit segment = buckets of drool) I was a little naive then, thinking that Miss Universe was a gathering of the world's most beautiful women, and I do not mean figuratively speaking. I thought that each nation had some sort of committee that was in charge of screening their entire female population of a certain age group, let their citizens decide who the most beautiful one was and the chosen one would compete in the Miss Universe pageant to decide once and for all - for that year anyway - which country 'breeds' the most beautiful woman. Seriously, that's what I thought.
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When I was a little older or at least more aware that women were everywhere, more specifically, there were heaps of beautiful women out there without a sash or crown on her head, the appeal of beauty contests diminished to an afterthought. I would not bother watching it, I mean why should I when there were a host of other mediums or opportunities to view off-screen goddesses.
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Anyway, I'm going on an on about this because the Miss Singapore Universe is in season. In all honesty, seriously ask any Singaporean, ANY Singaporean and they will tell you that we have no chance in hell of getting the crown. I believe that the contestants know that fact at the back of their minds as well. So their achievement - if any - is just to get their 15 minutes of fame on local TV, afterwhich they'll just blend in with the stage props of the Miss Universe Pageant.
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Why bother wasting all this time and resources? Just look at all the local applicants, scan through with a predetermined criteria, and send the successful applicant off to the competition.

What criteria must they possess?

1. At least a university degree so she won't give a 'duh' or 'world peace' for an answer when questions are presented before her. But the Singapore committee can relax a bit on this rule seeing as how she would probably not even make it to that round of questioning.
   
2. They must have a certain height - 1.8 meters and above - or the final judges won't even be able to see her if she is positioned behind Miss Venezuela.
   
3. Her breasts must be big. (All you feminist out there can just suck it alright, you all know that this is an unwritten rule, look at all the winners, wait nevermind that, look at all the contestants and tell me who doesn't possess a big rack? Enough said.)
4. It is best for her to be as young as the competition permits. Miss Universe has rules that state that all contestants must be at least 18 years old.
   

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So Miss Singapore Universe's formula for not embarrassing the nation?
Degree + Height + Big Breasts + Youth = No Chance of winning the Miss Universe Crown