Ask Bambi : Column 3

Question: Miss Bambi, I'm planning for a week-long holiday. I was trying to sort out my accomodation when a male friend of mine agreed to put me up for the week. I accepted with glee because that meant my search was over and I would save a tidy sum of money. When I informed my family about my plans, they firmly disapproved my intention to put up at a guy's place. I do not understand why they do not trust me? What are your thoughts on this?

- Miss Frustrated, 21 years old

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Miss Bambi replies: Dear Miss Frustrated, you must understand that trust isn't the issue here. Your family fears for your safety and they feel that living in close proximity to a male friend isn't a good move. The brutal truth is this, you are a girl, if anything were to happen, even with the smallest of possibilities, you as a girl will always always be in the losing end, so they think it best for you to not place yourself into an environment/situation which would further increase the probability of anything bad happening. Let me give you an example to illustrate my point.

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Imagine a fictional character David. David has very strong morals due to his Christian upbringing. He firmly understands what is right and wrong. One fine day, David's best friend Jack invites him to his buck's night at a strip club to celebrate the last day of being a bachelor. David knows that going there isn't a good idea but Jack is his best friend afterall.

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Here one might argue that David has very high morals and Christian values so nothing will happen. But one should also reasonably conclude that placing himself in such a situation would increase the possibility of inviting unwanted circumstances.

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So here is my firm opinion. Ask yourself if you are mature enough. Not how old you are but how mature you are. Maturity is not proportional to one's age.

Life is made up of the choices you make, Mautrity comes when you accept responsibility for those choices.

A child has trouble understanding the concept of actions and consequences, they do not have the ability to foresee the magnitude of their actions and the subsequent consequences, that's why they sometimes feel that some of their parent's decisions are unfair. Once this concept is fully grasped, a child becomes an adult. As an adult, one understands that not every bad mistake will result in a slap on the wrist, many times, the consequences are much more severe.

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So ask yourself Miss Frustrated. Are you mature enough? Are you an adult? Do not be afraid to answer truthfully. If you say YES, I am an adult. Then my advise would be for you to march straight to your family, (do not yell) tell them that you understand their apprehension. FIRMLY tell them that you are an ADULT now. Tell them that you are MATURE enough to think for yourself and that you will accept all the CONSEQUENCES (good or bad) that stem from your DECISIONS. Tell them that you will be ACCOUNTABLE for your actions.

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After all is said and done. Happy holidays.