Here's to You Ah-ma

Family Picture: Mother Sister Father FD Ah-Ma ( 1995 )

There is sad news in Dizzle Town. My maternal grandmother has been diagnosed with advanced stages of cancer in her stomach and liver. She is going to die pretty soon. I know this because I have experienced this before; when my paternal grandmother was circling the drain.

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My grandfathers died when i was still a toddler so i have no recollection of what went on. I am thankful for that.

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I will reveal a little known snippet about me. I was the only one without any tears when my paternal grandmother departed. Those who loved her was bawling, even those who weren't exceptionally close were visibly emotional. I was close to my ah-ma, she took care of me when i was small, while both my parents went to work. She stayed a stone's throw away from my home so i would visit her often, with a carton of her favorate custard cream puffs. I was one of the few who visited her in hospital, the day before she departed. She was a Christian, so i prayed with her in english because my hokkien was not good enough. She did not understand my prayers but the look in her eyes told me she was happy i was doing it. Even now, today, as i am typing out this post, my heart aches when i think about her, but no tears were present.

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The sad thing about my maternal grandmother, is that she stopped living a long time ago. She was alive but she stopped living. Her mind was gone way before her body reached this terminal stage. I have observed that my mum is taking a similar path: refusing to take on new skills; unwilling to make decisions; fearing this and that; being exceedingly particular about cleanliness. I wonder what i can do to help her snap out of it, because i am concerned, no, it is more honest to say that i fear. This gives me a lot to think about.

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To end off this post, I will dedicate a song to my Ah-ma, this is her favorate Christian song that she picked up in Sunday hokkien service. I will write out the english translation but know that this is sung in hokkien.

My Jesus is Very Good

Very Good, My Jesus is Very Good

Very Good, My Jesus is Very Good

On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thurday,

Friday, Saturday, the Whole Week, Very Good

My Jesus is Very Good