Very Stretched

I feel very stretched. This job of mine is taking its toll on me. Very often, my physical body may be very much alive, but my mind is so tired. Before, I would be so careful of the decisions I make, the emails I send, the words I say because of the consequences it brings but I've become so tiresome of all these tiresome things.
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I guess I ought to be grateful in a certain sense for my experience would take a massive leap in the time I was and would be given. Let me recount:

1. Material Resource Management.
2. Human resource Management.
   
3. Financial Management.
4. Project Management.
5. Time Management.

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All the above are heavy duty stuff, so many things I have to account for, so many people I have to give accounts to. It is hard when everything boils down to money, but there's no two ways about it, that's the nature of business.
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Son, we all have to do things we don't want to, like have jobs and families and responsibilities and having to be Mr funny all the time. You think I wouldn't rather be living nude in the forest like some ancient pagan , just dancing around playing the pan flute? - Homer Simpson

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Well Homer, I guess you're right.

I'm a Mur-diddily-urderler

I did the most stupid thing today.
The water in the fish tank was a little murky.
I decided to change it.
I had to transfer the fish - 7 in all - to a pail before I could start.
I filled the pail with water and placed the fish in the pail.
I proceeded to scoop the murky water out from the tank.
I was half way through when I was stopped in my tracks.
4 fish went belly-up in the pail.
I frantically tried to decipher what was going on.
It was only then did I realize that the pail felt a little warm.
I placed the fishes in a pail of warm water! Oh My God!
I am a Murderer,
a Serial Killer of goldfish.
So I quickly placed the fish in another pail of cool water, and turned the oxygen on, hoping that they will survive the ordeal.
3 did not make it.
I believe the other 4 is a traumatized cos they are a little less active now.
Stupid me.
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This event really reminded me of a Simpsons episode where Homer had a pet lobster, I believe pinchy was the lobster's name. Anyway, one fine day, Homer thought pinchy was a little dirty and gave pinchy a hot bath., unfortunately, the bath became too hot. He ended up eating his lobster friend but he wailed with every bite.
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No, I did not proceed to eat my goldfish. I don't think I'll ever live this down.

The Cubicle Man - Lesson One

I will start a column dedicated to documenting my working experiences and the lessons I have learned from those said experiences, if any. Now that I've dived head first into the corporate world, I find that there are so many lessons out there for me to pick up and I find that I have learned a lot, even from bad experiences. Many times, I learn more from the bad ones. This is not an attempt to write yet another corporate self-help guide, this will be for me, just me, and if others benefit from those lessons of mine, then I'm happy too.
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Lesson One - Listen, Stop Bitching and Just get the job done
I observed that many of my co-workers lack the first part, thrive on the second and drag their feet on the third. This is very evident in our daily meetings. All of them will try their darndest to get their point across but seem to be totally spaced out when another person is talking. When the minutes of the meeting are emailed to them, only then would they start to question this and that, because it is an unwritten rule that the less you know, the less work you have to do. What idiots.
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I think that this boils down to a bad attitude. Anyone with this sort of mindset will never amount to anything. Don't be afraid of challenges. Do what needs to get done. Complaining will only make the process longer. The hardest thing, really, is to listen, to really hear different points of view, to take in different perspectives before deciding on an appropriate course of action. Listening is very hard, even for me, because many times, I will get frustrated with people who speak so much yet spoke nothing at all. Know what I mean? Anyway, I'll reserve that lesson for another day.

Peanut Butter Induced Nausea

I was given a briefing today by my intermediate superior. Half way through, I really felt like vomiting all over him.
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You see, he was eating a peanut butter sandwich while he was briefing me, and we were at breath's length. The foul smell that was emitted from his mouth really made me queasy. I wanted to offer him a mint but my EQ told me not to.
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Sometimes, people just don't realize that there must be a certain form of etiquette during a conversation. They know about the 'political correctness', they know how to be subtle, they might even know about 'body language' but many seem to be oblivious about one very important point - The smell of one's breath when one is engaging in a conversation.
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Peanut butter makes a tasty breakfast meal, open a bottle of peanut butter and it'll probably smell devine but the same cannot be said about peanut butter breath. So in conclusion - Peanut Butter Good, Peanut Butter Breath Bad... Very Bad.
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There are many examples that further illustrate my point. Chicken Rice, Cuttlefish Snacks, Cigarettes... to name a few. In all of these examples, the product will taste and smell very nice to the person consuming/using it BUT let me assure you, the same will not be said by the person standing next to you, or worse, the person talking to you.
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Just gargle your mouth after your meal or get a mint for crying out loud.

I Spoke too Soon

In my last post, I conveyed my delight regarding the lack of office politics in my place of employment. Well, no such luck.
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You get to hear a lot of things when you lunch with the right crowd. I do not know if I ought to feel honored for being allowed into this circle of trust but I find all these 'games' such a bore. I have enough on my plate to worry about and I don't see why I've to portion part of my mental capacity to battle such - in my opinion - nonsense.
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So I've decided to take Ban Ki Moon as my model. He is labeled as the Teflon Man, and with good reason. I'll just try to do my job and be peaceable to all. I know that office politics comes with the territory when one is working, but I seriously don't care much for it.
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You know, sometimes, it is the silence that proves to be the most deafening.

First Impressions

This week I started my new job. It is challenging to say the least. More than anything, it forces me out of my comfort zone because at the end of the day - literally - there is but one lesson to live by in my current vocation: Nothing personal, it's just business.
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So here are some of my initial observations from my first week:

1. My Cubicle looks and feels brand new. No stains, no odours, no pornographic desk calenders.
   
2. The toilets are sparkling clean. That really made my day.
   
3. I got dizzy when I saw the supplies closet with stationaries galore. I saw so many "equipment" I didn't even know exists.
4. No one is playing any office politics. The section is structured in such a way that all our jobs have unique responsibilities and symbiotic relationships.
   
5. I have an excellent boss. He's a very - rational, no nonsense, speak your mind, get to the point, don't have to be politically correct, there is no such thing as a stupid question, just get the job done - sort of boss.
6. I found out on the first day that I have 8 subordinates that report directly to me. That's a lot of pressure on me because I now have to seriously brush up on my people skills, not to mention the whole idea of being assertive and having to consider their welfare. Butt kissing/kicking 101. Why wasn't that taught in school?
7. I have observed the way my people work and I'm glad to say that there won't be no problems. They know what they're doing. They're a friendly bunch. They're very professional, but most importantly, they know that the buck stops with me.
8. I hate the fact that I have to wake up at bloody 0545hrs just to get to work because the journey takes a bloody 2 hours just to reach my desk.
   
9. It's only my first week and I've had a meeting with 2 vice presidents, apparently they had a good impression of me because I brought along some food - deep fried banana fritters & tapioca fingers - for the exceedingly long meeting (3hrs). They are funny down-to earth people. They don't like to pull rank. They have a very relaxed but professional aura about them. I'm happy that they too are my boss.
10. I'm quite delighted that I'm not required to wear a tie to work. I'm even allowed to wear short sleeve shirts. Coolio. Maybe my bright blue hawaiian shirt can finally see the light of day.
11. Lastly, one of the girls that I am working with is named Lorelei (that is not a typo), that's very close to Lorelai and those in my inner circle understands why I'm so tickled/delighted by this. heheh..

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So. That's that then. FD, get your act together. There is no looking back. Be a huge sponge. Soak everything in. This is in all aspects - except the 2 hr bus ride - a very good start.

Senseless Law

Case 1
Taxi Driver deliberately bangs man after a minor roadside accident. He's now on the brink of death. According to the law, the maximum penalty if found guilty: 2 years behind bars + SGD$1000 fine. (This was in the news)
Case 2
Under Section 377A of the Singapore Penal Code (gross indecency between men), if 2 CONSENSUAL men have sex with each other, and are caught, the maximum penalty is Life Imprisonment.
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This to me is very wrong, very very wrong. Blatantly causing grievous hurt (the victim had part of his brain removed due to surmounting pressure caused by the collision) and the maximum penalty is 2 years jail... ONLY, and if that was not enough, the law had to add salt to the wounds of the victim's family by suggesting that a life is in part worth just SGD$1000.
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On the other hand, 2 gay men who have sex with each other is imprisoned for life. I reiterate: 2 CONSENSUAL ADULT males having sex will land them in prison for the rest of their lives. Where is justice?
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Let me be very clear about my stand concerning this issue with gay rights. I, FD, absolutely cannot agree with what they (homosexuals) do. If a gay couple will give me the privilege to voice my opinion concerning their lifestyle, I will say that I disagree with their views on sexual orientation but I will NEVER ever throw Bible verses in their faces much less agree with this antediluvian law.
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One final thought. In my opinion, what the law is trying to say is this: Men having sex with each other deserves the same penalty as a person who has ATTEMPTED MURDER (this is fact, all written clearly in the penal code), however, reckless endangerment of another human being is worth about 2 years, and oh... a life is worth about 1000 bucks.
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A friend of mine once called me a gay sympathizer. I told him "No, I just have a lot of sympathy toward human beings, for we certainly have a knack for making mistakes."