Lest I Forget #6 - My Very Small Home

I recalled an incident in my youth. It happened in school. I was about 10 or 11years old at that time. I always seem to forget things. Forget to do homework, forget to bring homework or textbooks or milk money. I was not a very naughty kid, I did not do those things on purpose (most times) but always just admitted it and accepted whatever punishment came along.
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One time, I was stunned when I was told to submit some homework but, upon checking, I realized I did not do any. So I lied. I told the teacher that I had forgotten to bring that exercise book to school, I said I left it at home.
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I guess I was not very good at lying. The teacher sniffed out my lie in a second. She told me to bring my bag to her desk. I did as instructed. She searched through my bag and found my exercise book sans the work that was supposed to be done.
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Before she sent me out to stand outside the class, she said "Oh my FD, I didn't know you lived in your school bag, go stand outside the class!"
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I sure was embarrassed.

Back from Reservist

I'm back from a week of mind-numbing boredom that is the Singapore army.

There are a few things that I find shocking. Shocking in a I-am-so-envious sort of way.

1. The new recruits have ultra comfortable beds now with KING KOIL mattresses no less. My GOD, all I had was a covered sponge which is 4 inches thick when I served my time. (I make it sound like I was in jail doing time for a crime, which is true in a way, my only crime is to be born as a male Singaporean.)
2. The duffel bag that was issued to us new recruits back then resemble a big olive green bolster. This was used to chuck all our stuff in. When it is fully loaded, we had to hoist it on our shoulders or drag it along whenever it was required. NOW, the new duffel bags that are issued to recruits has.... wait for it.... WHEELS. That's right, like those used by stewardesses. MY GOD, wheels for crying out loud, and to see a group of stout fit men in green dragging along their duffel bags like some precious Louis Vutton luggage. Unbelievable.
   
3. When we were sent on an exercise, we had to carry standard issued rations to tide us through for the many days we spend away from camp. Standard combat rations was pretty alright. When we used to get tired, we would rip open a sachet of instant coffee, take a sip of water, gargle the contents and drink it down. That's how all of us did it last time. Forget decorum, we needed caffeine and that was the way to go. Guess what? Now they actually provide packets of coffee (tetrapak) with a precious little straw for these new recruits to poke in their precious packet of coffee. MY GOD! Such wussies!

Then there is this rather interesting observation I have made conversing with other reservist personnel.

1. As soon as we put on our green uniforms, there seems to be this psychological effect. We turn into a bunch of brain dead, lazy bums whose sole purpose is to do whatever is necessary to get OUT of this green uniform. My gosh, it seems like we lose 20% of our IQ the moment the fabric touches our skin. I wish I was joking. Seriously.
2. When you throw a bunch of guys together, with no direction and a lot of time to waste, our conversations always seem to stir toward our disdain for the army, disdain for the government and the ever favourate topic: girls. The sentences would be punctuated with vulgarities and the most innocent of things can and will be turned into some sort of sexual innuendo. I shall not elaborate, but I will leave you with this: one of our conversations started off with Taiwan, then it moved on to bubble tea then BAM... sexual innuendo. Can you believe it? Bubble Tea.
   
3. As much as we (reservist) hate to be roll-called (it's like in kindergarden where the teacher calls out your name and you respond) BUT I never fail to see them religiously updating their wife/ girlfriends of their whereabouts. I thought that was very sweet. So men in green aren't all gruff and muscle, there is a soft gentle side.
   

I will put up some pictures of the duffel bags when I get around to it. You will be amazed.