Unworthy Me

Today, a feeling of worthlessness swept over me.
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I felt so angry, so powerless.
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This was not triggered by any one thing in particular.
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I recollected myself and it became blindingly apparent to me that I was on a verge of depression.
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I pull myself up because I know me well enough - If I let myself go, depression will overwhelm me and I do not know if I'll have the strength then to stand back up again.
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I hide away from friends because I do not want to answer the same questions.
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I put on a false front because I will not allow my parents to shoulder the emotional burdens of my failures as well.
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I know that I'm being incredibly shallow but this is the easiest route.
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I know that when I'm finally on my two feet, I may be standing alone because I've systematically excluded myself from my 'society.'
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I'm behaving in a cowardly manner I know, but this is the easiest route.
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I do not think I have the mental capacity to behave otherwise.
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Chin up FD. Look ahead. Take another breath. Move another step. Mon ami, C'est la vie.