Ask Bambi : Column 1

Starting this week, FD has convinced Miss Bambi to start a new column titled Ask Bambi. Miss Bambi will ultilize this column to answer some questions from FD's readers. These questions will be limited to issues that are suited to Miss Bambi's unique characteristc - Emotional Empathy and Spiritual Stability (Yes, Miss Bambi is a Christian.)

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Question: Miss Bambi, I have been feeling down lately. I have evaluated my life recently and find that I am going no where. I do not have a specific goal in life, I do not know what job I am suited for so I'm stuck in the process of looking, I am fat, I am still living with my parents, I do not have a suitable life partner, I do not have savings and I do not have many close friends. Miss Bambi, I am doing what it takes to be alive but I am not living, do you know what I mean? What do you have to say about it? What advise do you have for me?

- Miss Moody, 29 yrs old

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Miss Bambi replies: I understand where you are coming from miss moody. Everyone hits a rut somewhere down the line, so you are not alone. But since everyone's situation is unique to that individual, I will give you suggestions that will target your current position.

1. You say you are going nowhere. I say you are just giving yourself and excuse to go nowhere. Have a vision and make healthy DAILY achievable goals that will propel you toward your vision.
2. You say you do not know what job suits you. I say just get one! Start somewhere and work out a path that will take you where you want to go, but START somewhere. I know for sure that you will be going nowhere if you remain where you are. And that's the hard truth.
3. You say you are fat. I say it is evident you are not happy with your current weight, I understand that weight issues can be linked to a myriad of psychological issues, self esteem being one of them. So I say join the gym. There are no magic pills, secret diets or quick surgical alternatives. There is the threadmill and a balanced diet. FD has started a challenge for himself a few posts back, have a read, it might kick you in the right direction.
4. You say you are living with your parents. I gather you do not want to live with your parents. If that be the case then pay even more attention to step 2. Get a job, save up to get financial security and you may leave as soon as you can pay rent or service a housing loan.
5. You say that you do not have a suitable life partner. I will cut to the chase and tell you what you are really thinking. You feel you are fat, useless, jobless, penniless, living with your parents and going nowhere, and that's why no one wants you. I say, learn to love yourself, you have to know that YOU ARE WORTH IT. Let your aim be to better yourself, and once you can say the words in bold, you will be more likely to be in a real, long-lasting, fulfilling, loving relationship. Let me say this, going into a relationship broken will break the relationship.
6. You say that you do not have many close friends. I say I can't help you. Why? Because friendships are forged not forced. If you have made it through steps 1 - 5 then you will be able to say, IT IS THEIR LOSS not mine. But have a real think about it, give yourself an honest personality evaluation, then keep the good and kick the bad.