LEMON TREE

i BouGHT a LeMoN TRee a FeW MoNTHS BaCK
i WaNTeD To LiVeN THe GaRDeN uP
i PLaCeD iT iN a PoT
THoSe LeMoNS GReW.
THeY BeCaMe HuGe LeMoNS

TARGET SET- WEEK 23 + 24

I will just cut to the chase.
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After slogging it out for another 12 weeks, I have not lost a single kilo. It would be more accurate to say I lost some kilos along the way but it found its way back home.
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Needless to say I am disappointed.
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Needless to say I am angry at myself and I am beginning to (or already) loathe those blessed few who just requires so little effort to lose/ maintain a healthy weight. I hate that I have such a lousy metabolism. I hate that I have to watch every damn thing I eat. I eat a grape and I put on weight. I hate it that some people can eat tons of junk and still look fabulous. I hate feeling so jealous and hate filled. But I am so filled with hate hate hate hate hate hate. I know it is wrong but I just do not care anymore, I am going to allow this rage and this hate to just consume me, even if it was for just a while, a few hours, a few days, weeks months years ... i do not know for how long, but I just want some relief.
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I am stopping my weight loss chronicles. I just find it so stressful. Writing these journals just magnifies my stress and disappointment with myself.
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I'm not going to quit my goals. I just do not want to write or talk about it anymore. Utterly and completely sick of it. I will just try and do what I know I have to do to achieve what I would like to achieve.
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fd over and out.

TARGET SET- WEEK 22

STATUS
Weight: 101Kg
CP % for Week 21: 45%
Workout Hours: 4 1/2 hours out of the targeted 7 hours.

Reflection: As expected. I put on some weight over the holiday periods. I gained 1Kg. I should not complain, because as much as I exercised during these holidays, I had 4 huge buffets in a span of 11 days. So what would one expect right.

You know what. Never mind all of that, forget it. I have decided this will be a long term thing. This whole idea of losing weight has to be a sustained effort. So what right. I enjoy for a short period, and then get back on the program. I should not beat myself up about it.

I think I have observed something good coming out of this whole exercise program. I do not struggle anymore with the sweet tooth. I do not have a constant urge to eat sweet things. I observed that I am able to control my intake (per meal) much better. Although on occasions like the holidays that just passed, I would binge a little. I can honestly say I did not let myself completely go. There was still control.

Going to the gym is a little like saving money. Only difference is, I would be saving calorie credits. At least that's what I call it. Save enough and I won't feel so guilty when I have the occasional sweet stuff. Also whenever I have the urge to eat what I am not supposed to, I think about the effort I have to put in later, and that just make me feel that a moment of self gratification is so not worth the hours I have to put myself through the treadmill. So there.

Week 22 >>>> 4 hours of exercise

Pet Goldfish

It did not occur to me that I have not mentioned
about my pet goldfish to Bambi at all.
I cannot really say it is my pet goldfish,
more my mum's than anyone else.
The big boy at the back is the real hero. When my mum got him from my uncle, he was the size of 10 cent Australian coin. He really was bought as fish food for the other carnivorous fish in my uncle's tank.
However,
He ended up in my mum's tank along with 11 other fish of the same size. He was the only one who survived and grew to his size today. His length - from mouth to tail - would be about four 50 cent Australian coins placed side by side.
The rest of the goldfish in this picture are new additions.
My mum felt the tank was rather empty, so she asked a few more from my uncle.
The new ones are younger. We observed them for a few days to ensure that they don't
bully big boy. He's our favorite you see.

Revenge of the Sith (I Meant Sis)

I had this gut feeling that my sis was plotting something really horrible to get back at me for the "bread prank". That she did. She waited for me to leave the house to perform this this... abomination! Well then.... nice tat for a tit is what I would say.
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