TARGET SET- WEEK 23 + 24

I will just cut to the chase.
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After slogging it out for another 12 weeks, I have not lost a single kilo. It would be more accurate to say I lost some kilos along the way but it found its way back home.
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Needless to say I am disappointed.
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Needless to say I am angry at myself and I am beginning to (or already) loathe those blessed few who just requires so little effort to lose/ maintain a healthy weight. I hate that I have such a lousy metabolism. I hate that I have to watch every damn thing I eat. I eat a grape and I put on weight. I hate it that some people can eat tons of junk and still look fabulous. I hate feeling so jealous and hate filled. But I am so filled with hate hate hate hate hate hate. I know it is wrong but I just do not care anymore, I am going to allow this rage and this hate to just consume me, even if it was for just a while, a few hours, a few days, weeks months years ... i do not know for how long, but I just want some relief.
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I am stopping my weight loss chronicles. I just find it so stressful. Writing these journals just magnifies my stress and disappointment with myself.
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I'm not going to quit my goals. I just do not want to write or talk about it anymore. Utterly and completely sick of it. I will just try and do what I know I have to do to achieve what I would like to achieve.
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fd over and out.